He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Watching my parents go through a divorce was an experienced that molded my view on marriage, and it was not the actual event of divorce but rather the years of no communication and using their children as pawns that molded this change. The strange thing is that they are both professing Christians, but you wouldn’t gather that by their actions (James 1:22–23).
From my own experience in relationships (all be it not many): I have also first-hand experience the result of poor communication. When a couple tries to fill an emotional and spiritual void with physical connections, the voids only exponentially perpetuate themselves. Here are a few things that I’ve come to find important, for me, in a relationship (this list is not exhaustive):
- Individual, spiritual maturity; that is, the ability to be self-sufficient (1 Corinthians 7:32–35), but exhort one other.
- A smart, inquisitive woman; an individual that thinks for themselves.
- Communication beyond simple discussion, but the ability to discuss what moves each other. A profound level of understanding that is inexpressible unless one has had this experience.
- Unconditional love (1 Corinthians 13:4–7).
- “Seek to establish a similar marital philosophy and goals before getting married. Make sure that you’re both thinking alone the same lines since it will help to prevent or reduce any future confusion about leadership roles in the home, child-rearing, and the numerous issues that newly-married couples must face.“1
- Mutual respect (Ephesians 5:33) and a desire for compromise.
- A woman that does want to be led spiritually (Ephesians 5:23, 32).
- Similar interests and passions but yet varying enough to challenge each other.
- The understanding that divorce is not an option.
Personally, the most important is someone who thinks for themselves. I have had incredible relationships with people younger and much older than I just because of the intellectual connections I established with them. Now I need to be careful of looking for only one thing in a potential mate; especially since, as a believer in Christ Jesus, I need to find someone who holds Christ in the highest regard. I still struggle with desiring to wrap my mind around every subject, including this one.