Imperishable Inheritance

Why must I continue to boast of my righteousness? If only I knew I had none. I spend so much time worrying about proving to others that I am intelligent, capable, able and worthy to have a relationship with You. Why must I get continually caught in what I believe I can offer to You?

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven. "So when you give to the poor, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be honored by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.
Matthew 6:1-2

I feel as though I need to have my accomplishments known. "Look at me. Look what I've done." As if You cannot tell what I do in private.

"But when you give to the poor, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving will be in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
Matthew 6:3-4

I'm caught into the lure of corporate worship. Why when I pray to you in private am I shown what a hypocrite I am? How I love to hear praise of myself in front of others.

"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. "But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
Matthew 6:5-6

To ramble needlessly with words that only work to impress others and not glorify you. As if you needed me to show you what I and others need.

"And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words. "So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him.
Matthew 6:7-8

How beautiful Your name is Father. How beautiful you are. The shining light I see before me to which I reach outward and yet always feel as though I fall short. Please come back to me. I want to hold you. Please flush this all away.

"Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. 'Your kingdom come. Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven.
Matthew 6:9-10

I need only ask for that which I need. The daily sustance necessary to continue to worship and glorify You in all your majesty and righteousness. Why do I place emphasis on things that are only excessive to what I need? I only need Your grace.

'Give us this day our daily bread.
Matthew 6:11

My iniquities abound on You. Why did You my precious Lord and Savior bother with me? How could you possibly love me in a way that I could never love You? I continue to profess a walk in your light and yet cower to the darkness, and when others go against me I feel as though everything must be set right. I have no conception of Your awesome grace and love.

'And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
Matthew 6:12

Why do I continue to search for the darkness? Is it because I don't ask for Your deliverance?

'And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. [For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.]'
Matthew 6:13

Why must I forgive others? I abhorre doing it. It is so much easier to remain resentful and ungraceful.

"For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. "But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.
Matthew 6:14-15

As I continue to live in my vanity and love of my actions, I begin to realize through Your words that I must hide my face and wash away my desire to show others of what I am and what I am doing. Please see me.

"Whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. "But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
Matthew 6:16-18

Do I stay in a job that I have the opportunity to make good money, or should I risk it all to take a path of uncertainty? Am I investing my soul into my possessions? I thought I was not a materialistic person? What must I do to clean my heart?

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Matthew 6:19-21

The shine in my eye has diminished. I do not reflect You. Why is it that when I do just one "little" thing that my whole soul is immersed in contrition? Oh Father, I thank you for that sorrow.

"The eye is the lamp of the body; so then if your eye is clear, your whole body will be full of light. "But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light that is in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
Matthew 6:22-23

So which path should I take?

"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.
Matthew 6:24

I am caught up in my worries for myself. Look at me running around checking my bank account, my girlfriend, my social network. Look at all the things I put before You. What should I do?

"For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? "Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?
Matthew 6:25-26

"Chris, it's time for you to stop; and listen to Me."

"And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?
Matthew 6:27

My worry of myself extends to an earthly, vain attempt to be remembered. I feel Father that you are pulling me in a way to do amazing things on amazing levels for you. Is it that uncommon? What is my definition of a large difference? How I want to extend my opportunity to be in the history 101 textbook.

"And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.
Matthew 6:28-29

Look at me go around and around in analyzation of what I believe I deserve. How I now see that you reward those who are reliant upon You and Your majesty, Your grace, Your love, Your empathy, Your immutability, Your omnipotence, and Your glory.

"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!
Matthew 6:30

Oh Jesus, forgive my lack of faith. I am nothing before You. I am a whore, a bastard child, one deserving of Your fury and wrath. I see now how you work in Your creation. As I ponder on the majesty of Your love...

"Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?' "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
Matthew 6:31-32

I see now. Thank You for Your timeless words. Thank You for Your wonderful blanket of mercy. I thank You for your knowledge that is to great for me to understand. Please help me to remember this lesson and not have it be a fleeting experience.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
Matthew 6:33

Is this all I have to do? It seems so simple yet the task seems so impossible. I desire to know You, but how do I go about doing such a monumental task?

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34

Ah...one day a time.