Imperishable Inheritance

I don't write many posts that are "personal" in nature. That being, that I talk about myself and what is going on; but a lot has been going on, and I would like to run down the recent events in my life. He is showing me a lot in my ministry, relationship/friendships, school, and the like. It's time to start listening.

Summer Project

It looks as though I will not be able to attend the summer project I planned on attending. I am currently over $1,500 short, and I am scheduled to leave on the 9^th of next month. This is a rather hard pill to swallow, because I thought that it was where God wanted me to be this summer. He opened doors I thought were inoperable, most noticeably that of my work letting me off for two months.

I feel very embarrassed and ashamed that I will not be able to go. I hate telling people I was going to do one thing and then do another, but these feelings are all based around my selfish pride. Maybe I truly wasn't suppose to be there. The question now is what do I do with the support I've already gathered, what do I do with work, and what do I do with my ministry?

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Matthew 6:33

The Girlfriend

I've been dating Stephanie since early this month, and I have learned so much in such a short amount of time. In being the first relationship since I've become a believer, I've learned so much on what I am not suppose to do. I struggle right now with the direction it should go. It is quite obvious my spirituality and her "spirituality" do not mesh. It's not a matter of knowing the right path/decision but actually doing it.

There is this struggle, because I really like her; but decisions again made on emotions are less than reliable. It's no wonder I am from the reformed tradition and it's distrust of emotion. We'll see how that progresses; it'll be especially interesting, because I won't be going on project like originally planned.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Matthew 6:33

Ministry

I'm finishing up my year of ministry in Crusade. I spent a year searching and now a year in ministry. I have learned so much, and I am so grateful for the people that I've been around that have been so patient with me. Bridges has been such an incredible experience. It has molded the way I see evangelism and working with other believers to fulfill that command.

I don't plan on being overly involved in Crusade next year. I have already made my intention known that I will not be returning to ministry in Bridges next year, I don't plan on regularly attending a Crusade Bible study, and I won't be able to attend Real Life all fall quarter due to a class. It's not that I want to cut Crusade and the people completely out of my life, but I am definitely at a place to move on. Crusade is only a spring board to further spirituality, and I have realized that and am ready to move on.

I wanted to go into ministry at Grace Community Church in Washington Courthouse teaching apologetics, but it has become very plain that the pastor does not have that aspiration for the congregation. So, now I don't know where to go. I am, and will continue, to be involved in my Oasis group for The Crescent Project. I love the women in that group, and I look forward to our meetings. I'm thinking about getting involved in an One80 small group, changing churches (I'm thinking about Grace Covenant in Beavercreek), and Jason Wing talked to me about playing drums in Apex's new 18-35 ministry. I must have patience to see where He wants me to be.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Matthew 6:33

Career and the Future

Those are two weighty words! I don't know anymore where I will be this time next year (note to self: Matthew 6:34). Wright-Patt is a great opportunity for career employment. I have complete confidence that I can roll-over if I wish next year into working there full time. The question is if it is truly what I aspire to do. Can I truly glorify Him through a cubicle job?

Seminary has also been in the back of my mind, but it seems to be the decision made for me by many others. Truly, I'm sick of people telling me that's where I should go. First of all, I do not feel led to go there at this point in my life; there is still to much to learn, and I'm not talking about doctrinal knowledge but the relationship with God knowledge.

Speaking of that last sentence, I'm tired of being criticized that I do not know what it's like to have a true relationship with God due to my theo/philosophical studies. My uncle questioned my salvation due to the emphasis I put on doctrinal growth. This was appalling to me. It just absolutely floors me that someone can criticize my very Walk when I am doing as the Bible prescribes all believers to do (Hebrews 6:1-3)! I have become hardened to criticism. It's not worth worrying about.

So, in all I don't really know what's going on right now, but talking out loud does help. I have to learn more and more to turn my life over to Him and stop trying to run it myself. I know things will be so much easier for me if I do. I just need to turn the knowledge into action.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Matthew 6:33