Imperishable Inheritance

I used to be influenced tremendously by the humanistic psychologist and philosopher Abraham Maslow. I thought his insight into the essential needs of a person was incredibly insightful. His famous hierarchy is called "Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs." Today, I not only heard about this in my psychology class, but I talked about it in my philosophy class and my management class. Quite obviously, many think highly of Abraham's insights, but there is something that I've come to learn about the hierarchy . Now, anyone can experience a "peak experience," but only self-actualizers continually return to this state. What makes this interesting is that the hierarchy did not end at self-actualization.

The hierarchy is humanistic in nature, that is, it has the presupposition that man is inherently capable of "self-actualization" or the highest state of being a person. This state is only "actualized" when other lower needs such as food, shelter, sex, emotional and mental, and social skills are met. Maslow centered self-actualization around what he termed "peak experiences."

In other words, any person in any of the peak experiences takes on temporarily many of the characteristics which I found in self-actualizing individuals. That is, for the time they become self-actualizers. We may think of it as a passing characterological change if we wish, and not just as an emotional-cognitive-expressive state. Not only are these his happiest and most thrilling moments, but they are also moments of greatest maturity, individuation, fulfilment - in a word, his healthiest moments. {Source}

I later learned that Maslow put a spiritual state called "self-transcendence." Here is a famous quote from author Victor Frankl:

"The true meaning of life is to be found in the world rather than within man or his own psyche, as though it were a closed system....Human experience is essentially self-transcendence rather than self-actualization. Self-actualization is not a possible aim at all, for the simple reason that the more a man would strive for it, the more he would miss it.... In other words, self-actualization cannot be attained if it is made an end in itself, but only as a side effect of self-transcendence."
Victor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning (pg. 175)

From the thick influence of Maslow, I came up with a theory which I labeled, "The Four Characteristics of Personhood." To the right is a graphic into how I depicted a person. I believed that a person had the states: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical. I saw each of these as being important to understand how a person does actually develop along Maslow's hierachy. The interesting thing is that I saw no one as more important than the other. In other words, satisfying the physical aspect of a person is just as important as satisfying one's spiritual needs. I thought recognizing and working on these four states were the only way one could come to a point of self-actualization. Moreover, this bled over into my view on relationships, and I came to the conclusion that for a couple to be successful they must each be working on each of the four states individually and together. A "peak relationship" (if you will) is one where they are developing at similar rates in each of their four states of person hood. Let me explain the four states.

Spiritual

This is obviously the component of a person that is inclined towards a spiritual fulfillment. I believed strongly that everyone on some level need to satiate this part of oneself (which fit in well with my relativistic worldview). Before conversion to Christianity, one could fulfill this part of oneself with any religious or philosophical practice. Even atheism (which does take a lot of faith) could fulfill this requirement.

Emotional

I saw this as the most volatile. One can be extremely physical with another, and even though you can leave each and it hurts, it doesn't hurt nearly as much when you give of yourself emotionally. If there was a part of a person I focused on heavily it would be the emotional aspect. I held it in high regard especially because my focus for formulating these four states was for relationships, and this is often a cornerstone to a healthy relationship.

Mental

This is where I focused on the intellect. How well one understands another was through this aspect; it was the medium to which we were intellectually stimulated. Intellectual connections have always been volatile for me, and I saw what a powerful effect it can have over a relationship and ones own personal development. I, for a long time, thought the mental aspect is what sustains relationships/people.

Physical

This is our sexual impulse, and it is more than just desiring an orgasm. The physical aspect of a person was that which sought to be close to another in a way that is often exclusive. I can share the other three states with many people, but the physical is exclusive. It is what draws the line in the sand of who is with whom. It is a very important aspect, and it was one that I could not deny for its incredible power.

Turning It Upside Down

I have recently repented of my thoughts of what made up a person. I now see it as the inverse of Maslow's hierarchy. He had the right idea, but he had the wrong foundation. I learned later that the most important foundation is spiritual.

It wasn't just enough to say that the spiritual component is as important as the other three. While, I still believe that we can look at a person in the four states mentioned, without a concentration upon the spiritual you cannot have a truly complete life and enjoy complete relationships. Make no mistake, someone who is without faith can have a seemingly good relationship; but without the spiritual aspect as the most important we cannot reach the highest possibility. This is what true "self-actualization" is. True self-actualization is realizing that it's not about oneself.

I've also learned, through my conversion of Christianity, that only Christ can provide the foundation necessary for a joyous life and relationships. I have since repented of my relativistic worldview that any chosen means of spirituality can fulfill this component. It is exclusive. It is particular. It is Jesus Christ.

With this foundation one can truly manifest the other three. Notice that my hierarchy does have levels, because I believe, in terms of relationships, that they have varying degrees of importance now. The emotional follows the spiritual, then mental, and finally physical. Physical and mental states are never enough to make a relationship sustain. It is now important for me to practice the truth that only genuine spirituality can help me achieve the other states. I kept trying to look for the other three in relationships, and they have all crashed and burned. I'm starting to learn that when I look for the spiritual first everything else (for some reason) falls into place.

Well, that is the end of my extremely analytical article. If you skipped from the first sentence to this one then just remember that spirituality is the foundation to healthy personal development and relationships.