Family Troubles

I had to decide hard whether I was going to pub­lish this. I didn’t last time this hap­pened, but my fam­ily needs all the sup­port they can get right now. This after­noon my mother went back into the hos­pi­tal from her sec­ond sui­cide attempt in a few weeks. She again over­dosed on her med­ica­tion, but she once again escaped death. I don’t know if she’ll get another chance.

The last time it hap­pened I was sit­ting in a Per­spec­tives class, and I got a call that I needed to go the Grand­view Hos­pi­tal. I arrived, and I was told that we were basi­cally wait­ing on my mother to die. She had taken a lethal amount of med­ica­tion, and the sit­u­a­tion was hope­less. But some­how she barely escaped death. She was put back in a psy­cha­tric ward (the third time in the last few years) for eval­u­a­tion. They let her out, and our fam­ily was hop­ing that this time progress was made. I guess not.

She has always been a depressed women for as long as I can remem­ber, but things have only started to get really bad in the last few years. My father and her get­ting divorced was the thing that sent her down­ward, and she is still get­ting worse. She filed for chap­ter 11, and she just recently filed for chap­ter 7 which will pretty much ruin any kind of credit for quite a while. With med­ical bills over $30,000 she didn’t have a choice.

It’s becom­ing hard to con­tinue this fight. I have, in all hon­esty, grown rather apa­thetic to it. To come home and hear that your mother just attempted sui­cide is becom­ing a “nor­mal” event. I feel the worse for my lit­tle brother (16) and my lit­tle sis­ter (13) who have had to watch my mother go through all this first hand, because they have been the ones liv­ing with her (I cur­rently live with my father). They have become numb to the pain.

Please pray for her, but not just for her phys­i­cal con­di­tion, but for her spir­i­tual con­di­tion as well. She believes she is saved, but sadly she is not. I don’t know what’s harder: watch­ing your mother destroy her­self, or watch­ing your mother con­tinue to believe that she is saved.

“You are just a vapor that appears for a lit­tle while and then van­ishes away.” — James