The Pursuit and Christ’s Love for the Church
I have always used Ephesians 5:25: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" as either a proof text for limited atonement or seen it as a cliche used in weddings. A life experience recently has helped me to see this passage in a new light. I think Paul has an argument in this verse that is implicit.
The Pursuit
Paul also tells us that "we also once were foolish ourselves, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another" (Tit 3:3), "dead in your trespasses and sins" (Eph 2:1), and that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Rom 3:23). This describes our spiritual condition before we entered Christ's Body the church (Col 1:18). Because of this spiritual condition Christ had to pursue after us in order for us to have a desire for Him. In this is a lesson.
If a husband is to love his wife in the manner that Christ loved the Church than that means our pursuit should be for a woman that might not have the desire for us. Now, that doesn't mean that we push the issue to where she is uncomfortable; but it does mean that the man is responsible for the whole pursuit. That pursuit also shouldn't stop at marriage, because Paul talks about marriage in this example. Marriage is a lifetime of pursuit.
I don't have irresistible grace on my side (although the jury is still out whether I'm irresistible), but I know that a God-led pursuit of a woman should mirror the pursuit that Christ did for each member of the Church.
Sep 25th 2006 
6 Comments 
Sep 25th 2006
Interesting. I can see that application. Thanks for sharing that.
Sep 27th 2006
Chris,
Whereas I am usually in agreement with your posts I must take opposition here. I think you might be patching together a complex of scriptures to make an argument that scripture itself does not make.
Yes, true, we are dead in our trespasses before God awakens our hearts and makes us able to seek after Him. True, without grace we could never love the Lord and yes, the physical marriage on earth pictures the spiritual marriage between Christ and His church.
I take issue, though, when you make the connection that we are to pursue a wife as Christ pursued His. We are to love our wives as Christ loves the church in that we are to sacrifice all for her but the nature of that love has key differences. Christ "made" us love Him, not out of an act of brute force but out of an act of love so that we could better know and enjoy His glory. In physical relationships though love cannot be forced. The capability exists for a man to love a woman and vice verse whereas it isn't within out ability to love God on our own merit.
While the anaology of Christ's love for the church makes it clear that there is a parallel love between the Lord and His church and the love husbands have for their wives, the nature of the love and how it is sought is unique to each. The difference is that one can pursue another, say a man pursuing a woman, but that man can never make the woman love him as Christ "makes", or even better "enables", us to love Him. In the pursuit of another person there comes a point where, if love dosen't exist, it cannot be force nor should it for the health of the pursuer and especially the pursuee.
Praise the Lord that He has enabled us to love Him and praise the Lord that He, out of His love, has given us women to engage in relationships on this earth to mirror His love for us to another. I pray that the Lord would give us patience as we seek for that person on this earth and that our pursuits would be edifying to His glory for the purpose that He instituted marriage.
P.S. Poteet
Sep 27th 2006
You're right Perry. Great stuff! I was just making an implicit observation. You're right tha we can't pursue as Christ did the Church, because I don't have prevenient grace (stated above).
I think though there is lesson to be learned, but you're right that they are not completely one in the same.
Sep 27th 2006
Good Stuff, Perry!
That and I don't think I'd be too open to some guy walking up and randomly saying "Follow me." ;)
Sep 27th 2006
Could thing you didn't live over 2,000 years ago in Palestine!
Sep 27th 2006
I think God must have known that about me when he sovereignly chose to put my birth in 1985 rather than AD 5. ;)