The Christian Facade
The way that Christians interact today seems, to me at least, to be a complete aberration from the way the Apostles envisioned. While I want to avoid sweeping generalizations, I do want to speak to an issue that I have seen more and more in my young life as a believer.
It seems as though we as Christians wear a mask that prevents others from bearing one another’s burdens. It seems as though we go to our respective service on Sunday wearing our Sunday best were we act as though we are all on a spiritual high. But this isn’t the truth for many believers. We all hurt for one reason or another. Paul says “the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God” (Rom 8:19) putting to bed any thought that we’re all “ok.” Most of the time this facade keeps us from encouraging one another to pursue holiness and the continual presence of God.
Paul was in fact very transparent with all the believers he correponded with. After telling the Corinthian church of a thorn in his flesh he is reminded: “And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me” (2 Cor 12:9). By admitting weakness–in fact, even boasting in it to give Christ glory–was far superior than wearing a disguise from other believers.
Why is it when a believer admits weakness and struggle do we often perceive them as being not mature? It would seem to me that true maturity is exemplified when one admits weakness, out of a humble spirit, and seeks help from other believers to encourage them in sanctification. Jesus speaks to the necessity of lowering yourself below others and in doing so will be exalted.
“Do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ. But the greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.” (Mat 23:10–12)
The New Testament continues to speak volumes on this issue. Peter says: “To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing” (1 Pet 3:8–9). It seems as though the very characteristics that we are exhorted to stand and live by in the New Testament is frighteningly aberrant in our “Christian facade.”
I feel as if this is an American thing. Of the people I have met that are from different countries, they don’t seem to be like this. Our culture has delved into the internet, text messaging, and phone calls. Leaving face-to-face conversation and real talks out in the cold. I believe the american mindset has caused a lot of the lack of openness among christians today. Rob Turner talked sunday about how important community is and how much it has an affect on believers and non believers lives. I agree with this. We as christians should be more open. For once I agree with you Chris. : )
@Mike: I as well think it’s an American thing.
I think that this issue swings both ways Chris, I think that your observation is right, there are Christians that put up their super religious holier-than-thou facade, but for nearly every one of those there are those who are willing to push their burdens onto anyone who will lend a listening ear without really seeking God’s help or guidance first. I think both extremes are equally destructive. As well as those who give advice uninvited.
Additionally, a lot of times when vulnerability and openness is pushed for, the corporate church refuses to recognize the harmful effects of gossip. Most believers don’t want their dirty laundry aired out for the rest of the world to see, especially when many people are not bearing their burdens, but pointing judgmental fingers.
One more thing, there are areas where it is inappropriate for me to be vulnerable with other people in the church. There are certain burdens which certain other members of the church could never help me bear without causing greater harm than good.
Discernment and Vulnerability go hand in hand. :)
I think that Ashley makes some very good points. Another related issue is that a willingness to share is often not met by a willingness to listen. Listening takes time, and many seem not to have the time to share others burdens.
However, what first came to my mind as I read Chris’ entry was my own experience with devestating weakness following chemo. I was severely compromised physically, mentally and emotionally as I went through the greatest spiritual battle of my life. I felt like a walking disaster and one of my greatest fears was that my witness to others would be harmed. I didn’t have the wherewithall to fake anything. I felt as though my faith had never been weaker and that God had never been further away. This went on for seven agonizing months.
I remember that I was incredulous when my Pastor told me that I was a great inspiration to many people. I didn’t understand how that could be possible. If you ever saw how Frodo looked during the last Lord of the Rings movie…that was me, inside and out.
It wasn’t until I healed from that experience that I realized how different God’s economy is. My faith was being tested in a way it never had been before. When I thought that my faith was at it’s lowest, it was probably at it’s greatest peak. When it felt like God had never been further away, He had probably never been closer. I had thought that my greatest witness was when I faced adversity bravely, but it appears that my greatest witness was when I was a complete physical and emotional wreck.
What I can say, with a fair amount of certainty, is that I would not have learned those lessons unless God had stripped me down past the point of myself. I suspect that Paul went though a similar process, and I think that is the power behind the words that He penned. The sense that I have is that one can only truly humble themselves after God has already humbled them.
I have felt the affects of gossip myself, but in light of that I still could not bring myself not to be open with fellow believers. Being open with fellow believers allows for accountability and for wisdom from that other person. You don’t have to air your dirty laundry out, but to have one or two people to be extremely open with, I believe is essential.
You do, when being open take a risk, but the benefits and the rewards of taking that risk are far greater than the ill effects of gossip or other such things.
We all need God’s wisdom about whom we should be sharing our personal information with as there will be people who are inherently unsafe, but yes, there can be great benefit to sharing our struggles with others. Even when a confidence is betrayed there are lessons that can be learned. The thing that I find that I have to watch for is gossiping about my own life (i.e. spending too much time talking about how others have treated me). Sometimes the Lord just wants you to take those burdens to Him. This really is an issue of discernment, as Ashley said.
Chris talks about the “Christian facade”, Mike says he thinks it is an American thing (I suspect that this phenomenon does exist outside the U.S.), and Ashley talks about the “super religious holier-than-thou facade”. Whatever you call it, and wherever it exists, it goes back to the issue that Chris talks about…lack of humility (a.k.a. pride). [As a side note I think it is important to distinguish between Godly self-control and “putting on a facade”].
The more that I’ve thought about it the more I am convinced that one cannot truly humble oneself until God has humbled them. In essence, pride will exist until God intervenes to reveal its true nature. On the same token, I think that one’s capacity for mercy is probably linked to how much one has been humbled by God. So the ability to respond appropriately to anotherâ??s burdens is also linked to humility. Perhaps our action point should be to pray that God will bring humility to the Church…it’s just a thought.