Imperishable Inheritance

Solomon, a man blessed by God with wisdom, gives us some of the most pro­found wisdom regard­ing our inter-​personal relationships:

“Better is open rebuke Than love that is con­cealed. Faith­ful are the wounds of a friend, But deceit­ful are the kisses of an enemy.” (Pro 27:5-6)

Reflect­ing on this often quoted pas­sage makes me real­ize how impor­tant this teach­ing is. Often we can be con­sumed with friend­ships that are only sur­face level and don’t chal­lenge us to grow and mature in our walks with God. A man can be sur­rounded by a count­less amount of people to praise him if that’s what he desires, but that kind of exis­tence is ill-​advised and futile.

I have learned to deeply trea­sure the friends in my life that are open and honest with me no matter how hard it might be to convey those thoughts. Think about some­one you love; with that person in mind try and imag­ine a rela­tion­ship with that person where you simply love them under the sur­face. When they act inap­pro­pri­ately, you simply keep it to your­self. If you truly love that person, as Solomon says, you will rebuke them. That doesn’t mean rebuke should form the focus of your rela­tion­ship, but you have entered a place where you are con­cerned enough with one another to tell one another the truth.

All those people who appear to be friends who will tell you what your flesh wants to hear proves they are not truly your friend. The wounds inflicted by a friend are far more valu­able, long-​lasting, and God-​honoring. When you are wounded in some way you learn a lesson that you avoid in the future (such as the pur­pose of pain). When you were a kid and touched the hot stove you learned quickly to not do that again, and your par­ents clearly convey that to you when you do. You learn and grow in expe­ri­ence and wisdom from the event. Granted, the exam­ple of a stove is triv­ial; but it extends fur­ther into lessons on rela­tion­ships, life pur­suits, and our savor­ing of Jesus Christ through experience.

Cher­ish those friends that are honest even when it hurts. Those are the friends that care uncon­di­tion­ally for you in a manner rem­i­nis­cent of our heav­enly father. Those friends will be the ones that help “bear your burdens” (Gal 6:2). They will not desert when things are bad, and they will be joyful with you when those times come. They are invalu­able, and I am eter­nally grate­ful for God pro­vid­ing those friends.